Effective Listening Equals Effective
Leadership: Learn How!
by: Wendy Maynard
No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more
effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means
fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships.
And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely
help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better
information from other people whether interviewing job candidates,
solving work problems, or working to make a sale.
Contrary to what many people think, being an effective listener is
not a passive activity. It takes concentration, effort, and active
attention. Because our brains work much faster than our ability to
speak, we often jump way ahead of the speaker in our minds and miss
the opportunity to fully understand a person's feelings, position, and
perspective. Environmental distractions or personal biases can also
interfere with our ability to understand what a person is saying.
When listening, you are giving a gift of your time and attention to
the other person. Work to respond both verbally and non-verbally to
the person who is speaking. This lets the speaker know that you are
listening and that you understand what he or she is trying to
communicate. Here are some ideas to help you hone your listening
skills:
1. Don't Talk. This may seem self-evident. However, many people
listen with impatience. They are just waiting for their chance to
speak, or worse yet they interrupt. Be courteous and give your
listener your full attention. Avoid offering solutions if the speaker
is expressing a problem. Just listen.
2. Listen Fully. A good listener looks interested in what the
speaker is saying. Your body language speaks volumes. Maintain eye
contact, sit still, lean slightly toward the speaker, and nod your
head (but not too vigorously or you'll look like a chicken!).
3. Ask Clarifying Questions. Wait for the speaker to pause, and ask
clarifying questions. It's a good idea to paraphrase what the speaker
has said and to ask questions such as, "Did you mean." or "If I
understand correctly, you said."
4. Provide Feedback. Remain engaged in what the speaker is saying and
show this verbally. He or she will appreciate the occasional "I see..
." or "Really?" or "I know!"
5. Keep Your Mind Open. The point of listening is to gain new
information. Don't just search for a point that supports your own
opinions. Be willing to gain new insights and learn about someone
else's ideas.
6. Be on the Same Level. Make sure you are at eye level with the
other person. Avoid having an employee or customer stand in front of
your desk. Have comfortable chairs available so that a desk is not a
barrier between you.
7. Respect Your Speaker. If the conversation involves criticism from
either party or contains personal information, go to a private room
for the discussion. Make sure other people can't listen to your
discussion. This will help the speaker feel more at ease and
demonstrate your respect for what he or she has to say.
8. Pay Attention to Cues. What isn't being said is often as important
than what is being said. Body language speaks volumes. Watch the
speaker's facial expressions, posture, eyes, gestures, and other
nonverbal cues.
9. Avoid Invalidating Language. While you may not agree with what the
speaker is saying, avoid defensive statements or phrases that argue
with his or her points. Later, you can take time to review what was
said and formulate a response. As an active and effective listener,
your role is to allow the person the time and space to fully express
his or her feelings.
10. Express Appreciation. Thank the listener for sharing his or her
thoughts and feelings. It takes courage to speak up. True sharing
builds trust and encourages further dialogue.
It takes time and energy to become a better listener. Be patient. As
you begin to improve your listening skills, you may be surprised to
find people will seek you out to share their thoughts and feelings.
You will also find yourself involved in fewer conflicts and be
perceived as a more positive and trustworthy person. Attentive
listening is a rare skill that people respect and welcome.
ACTION ITEM: This week, concentrate on your listening skills. Do you
finish sentences for others? Do you interrupt? Do you sneak looks at
your watch? Pay attention to your listening habits and begin to bring
conscious attention to improving these skills. Work to show others
that you hear and understand them.
Copyright 2006 Marketing Maven
About The Author
Wendy Maynard, your friendly Marketing Maven, publishes REMARKABLE
MARKETING, a free weekly ezine for entrepreneurs, business owners, and
freelancers. If you're ready to skyrocket your sales, easily attract
customers, and make
more money, sign up for her FREE ezine and marketing report now at http://www.gomarketingmaven.com" target="_blank">http://www.
gomarketingmaven.com.
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